47. Brandi: Surfing the Quantum Wave

Would you like to talk with me about Land + Spirit?

47. Brandi: Surfing the Quantum Wave

Brandi kept lighting me up with hits on all the things that stoke my fire: Spirit in the World of Form, the Quantum Field, Authentic Soul Expression, Healing, Ancestors... it was a great chat - PLUS, she held space for me to connect to a MAJOR way that I have been sabotaging my own Creation.

Find Brandi at the links below:

🌀 Aetherealchemy Shop

🌀 Brandi’s Linktree

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Transcript

Lezley (00:00):

I'm glad I can make it awkward right at the end. Yay. Nicely done, Lezley. Yeah, I looked at the epigenetics after you brought it up because I had only been familiar with it in terms of starvation, and there was a Sweden or a Swedish Norway study done, and it only talked about two generations, but it's

Brandi (00:37):

Up to

Lezley (00:39):

20. Yeah. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Brandi (00:43):

This is something that shamans have known about for millennia when you do energy healing and there's a way of verifying through forms of divination as to like, okay, say this issue is this current issue. When did this issue get stuck in there? How far back is it? Is it inherited? Is it on your mom's side, your dad's side? How far back does it go? I've personally tracings back as far as 14 years in people, or 14 generations rather on various sides. And it would present itself in a reoccurring trauma, which was super interesting because it was magnetic, and so each, it necessarily hit every generation, every person in every generation, just like blue eyes or blonde hair, it might skip generation, you know what I mean? But it's still present. And so it would hit those kids or whatever, those offspring and that person would be born with what some would refer to as a generational curse. They would be born with a personality trait, which they would have to untangle, and it's not their fault, it wasn't theirs. And through what we know scientifically as electromagnetism, which we also call the law of attraction, they would end up bringing to them, to their field a very similar experience that their ancestor had, and then you'd have relive trauma over and over and over again until that was broken.

Lezley (02:23):

Interesting.

Brandi (02:24):

Yeah.

Lezley (02:25):

Awful. Also, but it's almost like my understanding of it too is that when it's healed and when it's unwound, it actually becomes unwound, like the whole way back

Brandi (02:41):

Through all space and time. Yes. Yeah,

Lezley (02:44):

Just all space and time, whatever.

Brandi (02:47):

Yeah, so it's a resonance, it's a frequency resonance, and anything that is, if that resonance is like copy paste, copy paste, copy paste, so all space and time, past, present, future, so it could potentially affect, depending on how far back it goes and how productive they were in procreating, thousands, tens of thousands of people by healing one person. So one person's obligation to heal themselves can change the world.

Lezley (03:20):

I love that. Yes. Critical mass. Right. Okay. Do you feel like that's happening at this time a lot more than it has in the past?

Brandi (03:33):

Yes, and I've gone down rabbit holes as to why that is. Why now? Is it more openly spoken of now? These things have always occurred. There's always been esoterism and a cult philosophy where you can go back forever and find that stuff and talking about similar things, but why is it now that people are so comfortable with it, they're stepping out of the closet, they're accepting of it, and honestly, I think it is coinciding with the internet. Oh,

Lezley (04:08):

Okay.

Brandi (04:09):

Yeah. It's just freedom of information and finding community outside of your local space,

Lezley (04:18):

Like an externalization of etheric connection.

Brandi (04:24):

Yeah.

Lezley (04:24):

Yeah. That makes so much sense. It's simple too. It's not like some massive pre pertained or evolution is just,

Brandi (04:37):

Well, it can get deeper. You can go down rabbit holes that are a little bit deeper than that. Why is the internet created? Or at least why did it blow up when it did, which was in the early two thousands? And if you start unpacking that, yeah, there's theories as to Stargates on earth and things like this, opening up portals and so forth. So I haven't gone down those rabbit holes far enough to talk about them at length, but it's peaked my curiosity that the timing of those events were really coincidental. Yeah,

Lezley (05:18):

That's interesting. There was nothing, when I had my first kind of mystical revelation, there was nothing. There was no internet the way it is now. There was like no one was talking about it. You were a tiny, isolated person in an occult bookstore hoping for something to lead you to what was going on,

Brandi (05:41):

Because you couldn't really talk to anybody because you're being in a padded room somewhere diagnosed with schizophrenia. Right.

Lezley (05:49):

Yeah. Well, yeah, exactly. Exactly. I want to go back and just ask, you brought up shamanism, and it's been something that's on my mind right now, just in terms of a word, what does that mean to you and what's an acceptable meaning for it? I'm not sure where it belongs in the lexicon, if that makes sense

Brandi (06:16):

To me, that word. These are all human constructs, and we just sort of make up words to have an explanation for our experiences, and it kind of goes hand in hand with mysticism. Some people would argue it has more to do with spirits, talking to spirits, but to me that's once you open the gates to talking to spirits, from my experience was talking to all spirits. It was a flood, so it wasn't like, oh, I'm just talking to dead people. I mean, at first it was Whoopi Goldberg and ghosts, but it was more than that. It's like, oh my God, I'm talking to crystals. I'm talking to trees, things that are inanimate. Whoa,

Lezley (06:58):

Whoa, whoa. What do you mean trees are inanimate? What?

Brandi (07:02):

Well, I mean, they grow mean, but you know what I mean?

Lezley (07:07):

You're talking to an animist who believes soul is in everything, and trees are alive and conscious and communicating. I know.

Brandi (07:15):

So

Lezley (07:15):

Inanimate, I'm like, whoa, whoa,

Brandi (07:17):

Whoa, back up. But when you're trying to straight grounded, and it's that epiphany of yes, animism is real, and the realization that, oh, holy shit, that goes further onto the atomic level, possibly further, how far does it go? And of course, in the opposite of that earth itself, the sun, the planets, how far does that go? Oh, mean there's an ocean in the universe of a giant wave field, how far? And it gets crazy to the point where you kind of have to find a niche and just kind of stick with that because it's overwhelming. And then that really messes with your concept of the transition between life and death and what does that even mean? What does life force and all that? And that's part of your own personal nosis, but shamanism to me would be the exploration of that.

Lezley (08:18):

So it's not in your perception specific to any culture or practice.

Brandi (08:27):

Well, it's an English word, so you know what I mean? If they wanted it to be part of something specific, if the nurse wanted to be, our version of that is called this, they're more than welcome to. I know where you're going with that. And I would say, yeah, there are some cultures where it's absolutely, their practice is cultural and it's closed, but the word itself is just a descriptor. It's not a practice to me.

Lezley (09:04):

Okay. Yeah. I didn't know. I don't know still if it's an English word, because in etymology, it comes from the saami people.

Brandi (09:15):

Oh, well, if I'm wrong, I stand corrected, but

Lezley (09:19):

I

Brandi (09:19):

Don't, in the minority, it's all over. Right. So where do you stop and say, you can't use that word, it's a word. Call it a mystic, then that's fine, whatever. Okay.

Lezley (09:31):

I mean, for me, words mean things. I am a word nerd, and words mean very specific things, and speaking into the world is the expression of soul into form. So words are important and words are particular.

Brandi (09:47):

So yeah. So if it's important to you, then as you speak it need to be careful with your words. For me, it's not important to me, so it doesn't hold the same power when I speak it. Yeah,

Lezley (09:58):

Yeah, yeah. That's fair. That's fair. Okay. Alright.

Brandi (10:03):

Next. We can say this. That's fine.

Lezley (10:05):

Yeah. I don't know. I, going through my own ancestral reconnecting process, using the language of my ancestors has become super, super important and bringing that as much as possible into my life. So I say dream.

Brandi (10:23):

Yeah, I understand that there are some words that just I cringe and they're part of certain energy healing practices, and I have to change the word because I can't take it seriously.

Lezley (10:35):

What makes you cringe?

Brandi (10:38):

Anything that's associated with Christianity, A lot of times as they're unpacking colonialism and the concepts of Christianity, they're trying to weave it in with their practice that has nothing to do with Christianity as we know it anyways. And so they're using interchangeable terms like Christ or Christos or things like that. And I'm just like, I'm sorry, I can't go there, or Christ consciousness, all this, and I'm like, I can't look at it like that. I know what it's, some people call it the Buddha plane or whatever. I can't take it seriously if I call that, even though I know fundamentally that Christ is a state of mind, not a person, it's being personified. And so, you know what I'm saying? Yeah.

Lezley (11:31):

A big part of my own ancestral healing is the de Christianization of my mind. It was 100% a colonizing impact on my ancestors. Horribly. So, horribly so, and disconnected us from our ground and from the land. It's awful. So yeah, same. I'm not as uncomfortable with the terms as you, because I, well, and I'm making an assumption. I was never raised Christian, so I have no experience of it in this life. My parents were very non-church churchy, my dad very actively anti Christianity. So I'm not decolonizing so much from this life. It's more from the actual structures of this system. Like you in North America, you absorb Christian concepts and structures, whether you realize it or not.

Brandi (12:38):

Yeah. I was raised Christian, very Christian, and went Christian,

Lezley (12:45):

And I outwardly cringe. Sorry about that.

Brandi (12:48):

I'm cringing inside, and so there's certain words that are actually triggers for me. So yeah, I can't take it seriously, so I have to change the word for it to have value.

Lezley (13:01):

Yeah.

Brandi (13:01):

So yeah, words do have power in weird ways.

Lezley (13:05):

Yeah, absolutely differently. Each of us have our own perspective, for sure. You are a spellcaster. Yes. Do you charge, and I'm sorry if you don't want to speak about this. I feel like I've just stepped into your personal business, but it's something that's been on my mind a lot lately, but what's your take and thought on spiritual work in exchange for money or spell casting work or magic work in exchange for money?

Brandi (13:38):

I don't really find anything overtly wrong with that. There will be a karmic debt one way or the other. So if somebody needs assistance with healing and they have no money and you do it for free, then you will be paid back regardless whether it's, it'll always meet your needs. So if you need food, if you need money, if you need gas in your car, it'll always just find, it'll circulate back to you. And if you do it for money because people have the resources, that's fine too. And if they overpaid and it didn't match, then that still circulates. You'll find yourself healing someone else for free again or whatever, helping someone else. You know what I mean? It's just part of a never ending community. That's how I perceive it anyway.

Lezley (14:43):

Yeah, no, I perceive it as set up that way. But in real life, do you think it's reasonable to expect to be sustained by spiritual work?

Brandi (14:58):

Sure. You know what? There's, okay. Again, you go back to say the law of attraction. That's just a very popularized, simplified version of energy exchange. In that book, it says, the seller will always find the buyer. And so there's always going to be that electromagnetic pair somewhere in the world. And you can even open up gates. You can clear paths for that to come to you so that it's easier for you to find each other. So yeah, I don't think there's anything necessarily wrong with that. There is a point though, where I'm just, okay, going to go back to Christianity for a moment. They say there's a seven deadly sins, and this is actually something that is esoteric because not everything that book is wrong. There is some value in the Bible. It's just the way it's interpreted is really, I problematic. But the seven deadly sins, they say pride is the worst of them all because it creates all the others. So it's through pride that you achieve envy, greed, all the others. So if you go for greed, and now I'm thinking of, I don't really know of a rich witch, but I'm thinking of some of these evangelical pastors that fly around. So that could be argued as spell casting. Once you hit greed,

Lezley (16:44):

Sorry, that's amazing. And they would be so pissed off to be described in that manner.

Brandi (16:49):

It's what? It's right. It's what it's and the name of Jesus. Okay. So once you hit that level of greed, it actually breaks down and disconnects you from source, from source, from your inner source, and can actually, for some people, you can see it. It can visibly break down your ORIC field. So you are now in pride and you're in your ego, and you're not actually connected to others. You are owing so much of a debt that you're probably not going to pay it off. You're not going to clear your karma in this life. You're going to have to go through that again in your next life. That's kind of getting a little bit deep. But I wouldn't want that. I wouldn't want that.

Lezley (17:43):

No, no, absolutely not. I come up against the idea that not ever supposed to exchange those gifts for money, and I think, well, what a waste. I'm not trying to get rich. No one's trying to get rich over here, but I just want to pay my bills, and that's reasonable. And my own elders have been very insistent upon the fact that, A, you can't ever exchange for spiritual work because what you both gain out of it can never be paid by resources in the world. That's the gift that we bring to one another through healing. I've never done a reading for anyone that I haven't gained from as well, energetically and ly. But man, there's bills to pay. And that's what my elders have said is that you can ask for bills to be paid. That's a completely legitimate and reasonable expectation.

Brandi (18:50):

I would say that that's part of your own path, and it's completely wrong of one person to dictate to another person what is ethically correct. Know what I'm saying? So yeah,

Lezley (19:07):

Absolutely.

Brandi (19:08):

If my guides, my spirit, whatever I'm connected to is telling me that this is appropriate, then I don't really care what the world around me is telling me. I'm going with what I'm guided to do. And sometimes it's for free, and sometimes they will give me a very specific number.

Lezley (19:31):

Do you have any desire? You told me that you have a job. Do you have any desire to, I don't know how you feel about your job. For me, all I want to do is spiritual work. All I want to do is speak with spirit and communicate with others about this. That's all I've really cared about and been passionate about my whole life is how spirit moves in the world and the presence of spirit and being able to share and communicate that. So I'm in a position right now where I am struggling to make that happen. And you're right, it is my own path and it's my own stuff to heal and clear and all of that. Do you have any desire yourself to do only that? Or is this something that you're happy with, how it shows up in your life in the way it shows up?

Brandi (20:26):

Yeah. I'm very much surfing this one. I'm not in control of

Brandi (20:34):

This one. I never have been in control of, and it's just a matter of accepting that and just rolling with it. And not to say I can't direct and set intentions, like, okay, I'd really like to do this and I'd like to do more of that and whatever. And it's worked out. I have had some amazing downloads as to how I could make more money, how I could branch out into Amazon and stuff like this. But there's also, I hate to say it, but it's like a work-life balance in all areas. And so this is my pleasure place, my fun place. It's where it brings me joy. And if it has to turn into my livelihood, depends on it, I'm not sure I would be giving the same energy to it. And so for that reason, I think everything sort of works out the way it's supposed to. I have a very good paying job that allows me to do this, and for it to be, excuse me, no pressure.

Lezley (21:51):

Yeah. Yeah. Fair. Yeah. I want to do only this, you as my witness. This is help me out. You're on board. So there's my ask to the universe, to you, with you as a witness.

Brandi (22:12):

Well, you could do some road openers and

Lezley (22:15):

I dunno what that is.

Brandi (22:19):

Well, there's different ways to do it. The most basic way is to go to crossroads. Right now, we still are in the power of the full moon as best to do it on a full moon or a new moon, but mostly a full moon. And you could go to a crossroad somewhere where there's new construction usually. So yeah, there's always subdivisions being built or some road construction. And if you can find a freeway or something that's like heavy duty traffic, that's even better. So you take a jar, you grab your dirt, and you can go get some bank dirt. It's just shit from the land. And then you go and you use that dirt in your magic, the bank dirt for the money and the road opener to help clear the path.

Lezley (23:17):

Road opener, is that what you said? Road opener? Yeah,

Brandi (23:20):

Road opener, dirt. It's literally dirt.

Lezley (23:24):

Interesting.

Brandi (23:25):

Yeah, there's a million ways to do that. You can use moon water and make mud out of it, so it's a little bit more physical or not. I throw coins in there sometimes actual change. So throw some change in there, make a circle, some salt and some candles and put it all over my candles.

Lezley (23:49):

I've been very, in the past, hesitant about doing manifestation work or spell casting because I've felt that my own understanding of myself and my life is incomplete, and I would have been asking for things that weren't actually of me. Do you know what I mean? It's like looking for things that I think are going to fit and make me happy instead of allowing the universe to guide me. But

Brandi (24:20):

The balance is not being a victim to the universe, not being towed along. It's surfing. So the tide is coming. The tide is ebbing and flowing simply. You are still directing. You can't change the tide, but you don't want the tide to bash you around either.

Lezley (24:38):

True. That's the second time you said surfing and you said, I'm surfing this. And what did you mean by this? The spiritual work?

Brandi (24:48):

Yeah. Okay. In this context, without going too deep, is literal waves in a quantum field, and there's no rules to do that. I'm just saying there's some physical objects. A lot of people like touching things and seeing things in the symbolic nature of it. And of course things that are entered in the collective consciousness. So the road opening, the bank, these things that everybody who goes into that bank is thinking, money, money, money, money, money. And so it's into the earth. But having said this, so it has a little bit more oomph that way, but no, the other way is to just go direct and talk to your spirit team. If you're that type of, that's, yeah, some people, that's their whole practice.

Lezley (25:37):

Okay.

Brandi (25:39):

Yeah. So your spirit team, interestingly, I discovered needs renovations from time to time. So just like you change, the person that I was two years ago is not the same person I am today. A lot has happened between them and then and now, the person that I was when I was 14 is dead. I'm a totally different person. These guides have still been there, so sometimes they

Lezley (26:13):

Don't know. They don't know to move on and allow, you have to release them and ask for new

Brandi (26:19):

Sometimes, not always. So yeah, you have unlimited potential for spirit guides,

Lezley (26:26):

For whatever

Brandi (26:27):

You need. And so you can ask to have them rotate out whatever you need. You can think of it like a phone or a cloud server and be like, can you sync with what's going on right now? Take the data. That's amazing.

Lezley (26:42):

I love that. I love that.

Brandi (26:45):

Yeah. Can we do a software update?

Lezley (26:52):

Oh my God, that's amazing. Yeah, that's great. That's great. I love that. Okay.

Brandi (27:00):

And then your downloads can be become more clear. Sometimes your guys will start giving you names. They have personal names, the whole thing. Yeah, it gets pretty interesting. And then you can ask for specific ones or whatever, and you can send them tasks. You can task them. So that's

Lezley (27:19):

Your job. Yeah. I've never tasked them ever. I've just teach. What do you know have to say What's up for me? You know what I mean? I've always felt like it's been my job to do things out here. Maybe I'm not delegating enough.

Brandi (27:35):

Well, yes, it is your job. So, okay, for example, I'm hungry. It's your job to make sure that I am fed, but then I never leave the house. Okay, you got to, right? They're going to set the stage for you to have the things, right?

Lezley (27:58):

All right.

Brandi (27:59):

They sort of organize and bring things together. You still have to do the things.

Lezley (28:04):

And they're telling me right now, I almost want to cry. They're like, you've never explicitly asked us.

Brandi (28:11):

That is a good,

Lezley (28:12):

And I'm like, oh, fuck. Okay. Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry.

Brandi (28:16):

I've never, they've not explicitly

Lezley (28:18):

Asked them

Brandi (28:19):

Correct

Lezley (28:21):

Shit.

Brandi (28:23):

Correct. You have to.

Lezley (28:24):

They're all,

Brandi (28:28):

And it's not new stage of power unlocked isn't not

Lezley (28:32):

Amazing. I got chills. I'm like, alright. All from the top of my head down. They're all like, finally. Finally.

Brandi (28:46):

That's beautiful.

Lezley (28:47):

Yeah. Thank you. That was great. Also, your candles are fucking magnificent, by the way. Do you make them from what is happening there with them? They're fantastic.

Brandi (29:03):

I'm hyper fixated on just the coolness of them. And again, they just bring me joy. They're sort of like, some people like to knit or crochet. I just make candles and I'm just like, how crazy can I go? So I actually, I'm going next level. I bought a 3D printer and I'm going to make my own molds. Oh,

Lezley (29:29):

Amazing.

Brandi (29:30):

Yeah. So there'll be exclusive. I may sell molds on top of candles for other candlemakers or makers, but it's going to be a fun journey for sure.

Lezley (29:43):

Oh my God, that's amazing. That's amazing. The Baba Yaga one was just, that was coming through my feed a lot. Just her in all kinds of different ways. What's your background, if you don't mind me asking your ancestral connection?

Brandi (30:01):

I'm going to do it this year. I've been putting it off. So I'm going to do a 23 and me this year, but I don't fully know because my father was adopted. I managed to find his mother who, she was like Britain, Welsh, I think. And the Welsh came through strongly in deities, and his father though was not named on the birth certificate. So I can't find him at all. But yeah, I don't know. It was said that he was, I don't know. He's probably from up there, some type of Celtic, I don't know. But my mother was Ukrainian. My mother was Ukrainian and Scottish and Welsh. It's

Lezley (30:59):

A mix you have. Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting. It changes things. Definitely. I don't know whether you're Canadian or American. Sorry.

Brandi (31:13):

Canadian.

Lezley (31:14):

You are. Okay, because that's like not an identity.

Brandi (31:21):

No.

Lezley (31:22):

Okay, good. I said that and I'm like, Ooh, I don't know how this is going to land. You never know when you say that, because some people take umbrage American.

Brandi (31:31):

Yeah. Americans don identify as Americans. Canadians do not.

Lezley (31:35):

Well, even American, it's not an identity. Just like white isn't an identity. There's nothing nourishing about it. There's no roots to it at all. Nothing. So I mean, to me that is, that's the next big transition for us as people is the descendants of the colonizers is rerouting with ancestral connections onto this land in harmony and honour with the people of this land. That's where it's required because a lot of it we're not rooted as a collective, as descendants of Europe. We're not rooted on this land. There's too much cutoff. There's not an identity.

Brandi (32:40):

Yes. As a collective. Yes.

Lezley (32:44):

Okay. There's a lot there right now in your face. So please share if you disagree. That's cool. I want to talk about it.

Brandi (32:53):

No, I just think that you're correct as a collective that that is correct. But that is also because a lot of individuals have not done their work.

Lezley (33:06):

Oh, a hundred percent. I don't think. Yeah. This is the most individual

Brandi (33:11):

Route. Yeah,

Lezley (33:12):

It's the most individual route.

Brandi (33:15):

Does that apply to everybody as a blanket? No. I'm very rooted personally, and I have friends here who are very rooted, but we're witches. That's what we do, is we build relationships with the spirits here and the land. And you try and be respectful and be conscious of the politics that are going on and compassionate and empathic to the struggles of even violent criminals and how they even got there and all of that, and be part of the solution and not continuously wall that off because criminals were made in these circumstances. So backstory there in Canada, how in the states, most of the prison population is black. So in Canada, most of the prison population is Native American.

Lezley (34:17):

And I just listened to the Pretend Indian podcast, and this is an interesting part that they brought up because apparently there is a huge percentage of inmates incarcerated who self-identify as Indigenous to gain the benefits of being Indigenous in prison who aren't actually Indigenous. So that over inflates the actual population of Indigenous people in the prison system. Just as an aside,

Brandi (34:51):

And it is still going on that most of the people in foster care are also natives. And so it is a continuous silent genocide that is happening. And then the middle class of society that seems to by and large be not the ruling class, but they are the ones who are the voting class. They will judge, criticize, point fingers, assign blame, all this. But the blame is never pointed back at the government. The blame is never pointed back at the original settlers. And they're not really empathic to the cascading effect of the extreme amount of violence and trauma that these people have suffered at the hands of the colonizers. So you can't, yes, they are responsible for healing themselves, just like we are all responsible for healing ourselves. But at the same time, it is our duty and obligation as a society to provide those resources for those who are there willing, capable to take that next step in their journey. Journey because we are sitting on their land benefiting from their death. So that is the missing piece. That is why there's a disconnection, I feel.

Lezley (36:30):

Yeah. I mean, if you're actually becoming rooted to this land, you can't treat the people of this land with anything but love and care because they are the people of this land. This land spoke to them first for thousands and thousands of years. All the knowledge that is available here from the land was given to them and they still hold.

Brandi (36:59):

Yeah. Those who are actively healing, some of them are some of the most smartest people I've ever met in my life. But then you have a bunch of them that were taught indoctrinated to become disconnected to become more white. And so now they're disconnected from their own roots and we blame them for their behaviour, which is sick. So that is the sickness that needs to be cured once we can help them reintegrate with themselves and their culture and their history and give them more freedom. I'm not sitting here saying that I believe in all land back and stuff, but I don't think this reserve situation is, this is getting into politics, but it is tied with spirituality. You can't relocate people, entire groups of thousands of people into a small parcel of land that is usually the most desolate places with the least resources and say, okay, now it's fair. We're going to take all of the farm land, we're going to take all the trees, we're going to take all the lakes. What I know,

Lezley (38:14):

Well, there was in the treaty, there was something called plow depth where the agreement, well, it was plow depth, so you were allowed to use the depth of a plow and anything underneath that was out of bounds. Well, that was ignored. But like you said, something that is very important to me that you said that Indigenous people were taught to be white

Brandi (38:43):

Through the residential school

Lezley (38:44):

System. Yes, a hundred percent. And white people were taught to be white, correct. No one's white. Correct. And I don't think it's my place to teach an Indigenous person

Brandi (38:57):

To reconnect.

Lezley (38:58):

To reconnect. It's my place to reconnect myself and then also encourage people like me with my own ancestral history to connect to their history and their roots, and then root here as an honourable descendant because our descendants, my ancestors, our Celtic ancestors absolutely would never have done this and expect from me honourable, rooting in the land and honour given to the people of the land. Absolutely. I am expected to root here with knowledge of this place because I love the land.

Brandi (39:45):

Yeah, yeah. No, I'm not implying that I have the knowledge or resources to help an Indigenous person with something that I'm not even aware of. But what I do feel obligated to is to show compassion and kindness to people who are sick and struggling with addictions on the street because I know how they got there one way or the other. And I do feel that as a taxpayer, it is my financial resources should go towards some of these safe spaces that can, through the elders, provide that for them. I don't feel that it should be something that they should have to pay for. You know what I mean? I feel like that's our responsibility to help facilitate that.

Lezley (40:37):

Well, I'm not in disagreement with that at all. Healthcare and education are two things that I think should never be for profit and should be 100% used for the health of the people, period. I don't think we're getting very political here, but I don't believe in illegality of drugs. I don't believe in prohibition in that manner because it doesn't work. Interesting. You brought up Portugal. Portugal. They have a social drug assistance program that is actually working because it's not criminalizing drug use. It's not criminalizing that. It's treating it as a health and a mental and a spiritual breakdown that needs to be addressed.

Brandi (41:30):

I never thought of that. Okay. So there's a black walnut cutting board in my dream, black walnut is very protective, and I couldn't think off the top of my head the symbolism of a cutting board, but my father was an addict.

Lezley (41:49):

Oh, okay.

Brandi (41:51):

He thought, well, maybe that's like, I don't know, maybe part of his ancestry was Mediterranean. I don't know. But maybe that, I don't know. It had something to do with him, I'm sure of it. But yeah, I know that in my own journey I've been detangling aspects of an addictive personality. Without becoming an addict, you can still have the same urges to escape or dissociate through whatever means. And what has saved me is actually the spiritual aspect. And even then I've had to be careful. I didn't do that too much. You can escape through spirituality. So there's a grounding there, but I think I'm feeling past that. I'm passing that now, and it's very freeing knowing that that's out of my system. And I hope that it does have that deletion wave through all time and space.

Lezley (43:09):

Yeah, I hope so as well. I definitely resonate with the addiction part. My family is filled with alcoholics, which is an ancestral response to our own colonization and the devaluation of our spiritual and cultural ways.

Brandi (43:33):

Yeah,

Lezley (43:35):

We

Brandi (43:35):

Were practicing before they came here. Yeah.

Lezley (43:39):

Well, but that's part of the cutoff. Our ancestors came cut off from the roots of their truth and then came here and turned around and did the same thing to Indigenous people with no consciousness or connection. It's painful. It's absolutely painful to connect to the shame and the grief of your ancestors. The things that I most love about myself, my ancestors hid and were ashamed of.

Brandi (44:10):

Let's talk about that for a second, because going back to epigenetics, what causes this thing, it's like cellular memory without altering the DNA sequence in any visible way. So they can't see it. And yet it's been proven that it's there through mice experiments. So what are we even talking about here? You're talking about some type of energy resonance and what they think is a type of repression. So it's extreme amount of suppressed, we're going to call it emotions, probably suppressed trauma. It is your genes not being able to express themselves scientifically.

Lezley (45:06):

That incredible though.

Brandi (45:08):

That's crazy. So I have had bits of rage, bits of anger that is probably clinically psychotic and there's no way in hell that's mine. And then I had to kind of untangle that and go through that and kind of nurture this rage in me. It was like a child that needed a hug. You know what I mean? Yeah. So it's repression of genes not being able to express themselves, people not living in their authenticity, and that being inherited. And that's,

Lezley (45:52):

It's why my dad was an alcoholic.

Brandi (45:54):

Yeah.

Lezley (45:57):

It's why my aunt was an alcoholic.

Brandi (46:00):

How many queer people were living in the closet? How many people were beaten and raped as kids and then shamed for it? How many people's parents died in the war and they were told that was your fault? All kinds of shit. It's just goes on and on.

Lezley (46:21):

And it's scary because I mean, our society isn't built to handle that. It's, it's not built in any way to value that and be with us in that step-by-step and allow us to dissolve it so that we can live in authentic expression. That's the fucking point, honestly. That's the fucking point to everything, is to be here in full and authentic expression of the whole. Yeah.

Brandi (46:52):

So how can one express themselves authentically and yet meet society's expectations of appropriate behaviour?

Lezley (47:06):

I don't know what's appropriate though. What's appropriate.

Brandi (47:09):

Okay. Okay. I'm going to look at children for a moment because children seem to be the most authentic beings.

Brandi (47:19):

I myself am guilty, and this is my own upbringing, my own mother in my head saying, I can't behave that way, dah, dah, dah. Say I'm in a doctor's office. This always seems to happen in a doctor's office, and you have to wait for a hot minute. And there's children, and sometimes they're old too. Sometimes they're like six, seven years old, and they're running around and they're screaming and they're just raising hell. And I'm thinking to myself, my mom would've beat my ass. Do they have no control over their kids? This is something that has been programmed into my mind, but these kids are authentically expressing their emotions in that moment. And I'm just using screaming as an example because it is a stimulation that is unpleasant for me. But these kids are in this doctor's office because they're not well. Right. So maybe using their voice, even though it's on a subconscious level just to scream, maybe that's healing for them. So it's things like that that come to my mind and I go, how much of ourselves are we repressing out of kindness or

Lezley (48:40):

Niceness?

Brandi (48:41):

Exactly. That's making us, giving us cancer.

Lezley (48:46):

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And in those situations, I work at Michael's and there's always screaming kids and they're bouncing the fucking balls and doing all kinds of shit that annoys me, and I want to make them stop, but I know that that trigger is mine. Correct. You're the one uncomfortable. I'm the one uncomfortable. Exactly. Exactly. And so then I need to go and be with myself for a while and have a conversation and dialogue about where that feeling is and what it feels like and what it's saying to me. And then I have to do the work. And I mean, I think this process is becoming more and more normalized, I think. I mean, you know what? I got to be honest. I'm not sure. I feel like I have a very strong bubble of spiritual reflection. I don't know if this is becoming normalized. It's just I see it everywhere where people are saying, oh, that trigger is yours. It's time for you to do the work. It's time for you to feel in yourself and connect to those feelings and whatever. Because that never used to be the way it was. It was always that thing outside me needs to change. And that was an acceptable way to see the world. It was acceptable to think that other people were a fucking problem when that's not ever been the case. I mean, there are jerks. We know that we're not talking about them right now, but yeah.

Brandi (50:25):

Well hold up even jerks. Let's take a look at jerks. Would jerks be as calculating if they could actually express themselves in a more feral way? And the reason I'm thinking of this is I'm thinking of more ancient traditions. I'm thinking about drumming. I'm thinking about the dance, I'm thinking about, I'm thinking about things that people used to do to physically, and sometimes it was sometimes the singing was more like screams and it was getting out the rage. It was getting out the grief. It was expressing what you needed to instead of holding it in.

Lezley (51:10):

And in a way that, in a space that was held for you to be able to process that and not just blindly mindlessly express the

Brandi (51:21):

Child. Yeah.

Lezley (51:24):

And you're held, and that was the expectation. And the whole group was there to do that for you. That's fucking powerful. Yeah, it is. Absolutely. And I don't, for me, aside from inflicting harm on others, there is no inappropriate expression, not from my point of view.

Brandi (51:50):

So I know that there are some spaces that exist that you can smash bottles and get kind of a little bit violent that way, but maybe we need more things like that with whatever the person, the individual needs to do that with. Whether that be painting or something more physically active or through song or,

Lezley (52:21):

Yeah, somatic work. I'm very connected to the body being a

Brandi (52:28):

You seem that way. I was. Yeah.

Lezley (52:31):

The body is definitely, for me, an ancient wisdom tool. And if I need to find answers, if I need to get connected, I have to go into my body to do it.

Brandi (52:44):

Well, maybe you could open a healing center,

Lezley (52:49):

Maybe. I don't know. Okay. This has been great. Do you have any last, I'd love to talk to you again. You know what? Maybe we could do a live together with other people and chat about spirit, or is that too spicy? I love that word though too, that you use spicy lives.

Brandi (53:11):

I'm just kind of sketched out right now because that's the dream that I had was like, I know.

Lezley + Brandi - What happened here? Transcription couldn't separate our voices. lol! (53:17):

I know. And I was thinking about that. I'm like, huh. And this is another thing too. The more we fucking share these weird dreams, these synchronicities, these, whatever the things are, the more we normalize this in the world, speak them into the world, the more they become normalized and spirit gets to be present here. That's true. Because I feel like it hasn't been invited. That's right. It's been really shunned for a long time, and I just welcome the concept of God had to fit a certain narrative and stay within the boundaries. So controlled tightly. Horribly. Yeah. Anyway, think about that. That would be fun. Yeah. It sounds like fun. Yeah, it does. Okay. Like a spiritual panel. Yeah. Right. A little something. Yeah. That's great. Okay. This was awesome. Thanks. I'm glad we kind of worked through that. I was a little scared when you first responded. I'm like, oh fuck, something's happening here. Sorry. No, no, no. It was like I realized like, Ooh, I fucked up somehow. This is not what I thought it was. And I fucked up. So it wasn't what I thought it was. Oh, what happened there? Yeah, there's a misunderstanding. Yeah. Yeah. I'm glad I can make it awkward right at the end. Yay. Nicely done, Lezley. Perfect. Okay, great. Thank you so much. This has been awesome. I hope to connect to you again. I love your thoughts. Keep sharing them with the world and yeah, we'll see what we can do. Alright, thank you. Take care. Thanks. Bye.

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