Being Alive is Hard, be Gentle with Yourself
9. Be Gentle With Yourself
This one. Ugh.
It took me years to learn self-compassion and honestly, I still need to remind myself regularly to be kinder, more allowing, more heart-centred when I interact with myself.
I can be mean to me, and it doesn't help.
We're often much harder on ourselves than we are on other people.
Think about how you speak to yourself, and what you expect from your own performance in life, at work, with friends, colleagues and loved ones. In contrast, imagine a friend or loved one in the same situation and compare how empathetic, supportive and understanding you would be and how easy it would be to suggest self-care and rest.
We never do that for ourselves, and it's critical.
This is a hard thing to do - to live in the world with a physical body and be open to learning how we're doing well, and how we're fucking up, and how we can do it better. There's so much to pay attention to and so many ways to avoid... everything.
How many human beings have successfully lived whole lives in avoidance of dealing with any issue of healing or growth? Thousands? Millions? BILLIONS? Who knows. I think of how much time I've wasted avoiding my feelings and ignoring discomfort and I think,
"My god, you're such a stupid, useless fool..."
Heavy, heavy earth bodies.
Oh, see there… No. What I actually say is:
“I know, it’s hard and you fucked it up again. It’s okay. It’s okay, you get up and you try again tomorrow. Holding a grudge with yourself isn’t going to help. Go on, give yourself a bit of a hug, that’s right. I know you’re trying your best, most of the time. I know. It’s hard here and so often we’re tired. Take time to have a bath. Do healthy, helpful things like go for a walk in the woods - I know you like that and you hardly ever go. Make the time, it’ll be worth it.”
Be gentle with yourself. It's hard and slow and heavy here.
The path is long and there are no short cuts.
Self care for your soul.
Give yourself some reminders to be gentle and kind to yourself and others. No one thrives under criticism and judgment.
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Things are crackling. I’m stirring the sh!t and sharing it with you. I made a new thing and I’m sharing it with you. I’m making myself laugh and I’m sharing it with you.
It’s the holy sh!t baby.