Claiming My Ancestors and Believing Anyway

On Samhain of this year I held my first Silent Supper.

This is a Celtic pagan ritual calling out an invitation to our ancestors to come join us for a meal on Samhain night. We set out a meal for them and light candles and we eat in silence together. (I had a notebook and took notes on what I was told and asked questions via writing.)

I lit candles and burned sage, cedar and sweetgrass before beginning because I wanted to clear the space and intention and only allow loving spirit to enter the room.

My father came first and we sat together and reminisced about the good times. The first thing he said was,

"You know you don't have to do all this, right?"

'All this' being the lighting candles and setting out a meal and the ritual...

I know.

I don't have to 'do all the things' because spirit is available all the time and ancestors are available when we ask them to join us.

It was funny however, and felt good to know that my dad's snark still persists in the spirit world.

My dad moved away and allowed others to come in. There were a lot and some were very loud.

CARRICK FERGUS!

Oh, hello Mr. Fergus.

Nope. Not actually.

Catherine McLean née Sinclair. My Gramma’s Gramma. My dad’s Great-Gramma.

Found out later that Carrickfergus is a place in Northern Ireland and that area is from where a lot of my ancestors come. Ballymena, Lough Neagh, Broughshane, Antrim... these are place names of my ancestors.

Someone, I think it was my 2nd great grandmother Catherine Sinclair said,

"That central heating is marvellous."

I quite agree.

I heard 'sowin, sow-rawn, sow-ree? sow-ruh? SOW-ruh. I wrote it all down and then found on Google that it means summer in Irish.

Samhradh is pronounced SOW-ruh and means summer.

My ancestors have named me Samhradh.

An indigenous friend on Tiktok made that connection for me.

"Your spirit name is Samhradh, your ancestors have given you a spirit name."

Hot diggity. It's amazing to connect to ancestors. I have claimed them and I feel claimed in return.

I asked for an ancestor who would teach me about my Celtic culture. I was asking for pre-Christian Celtic culture and was there someone who would teach me?

Muireann came through.

Which gave me feelings.

Muireann (I was going to spell in Murrin) was the name I had chosen for my daughter if I was to have one. I don't have one. I have an ancestor named Muireann who will teach me about myself and my people.

Let her be a mermaid! So typical that she had to be “Christianized” to become acceptable.

It’s not lost on me that Carrickfergus, Lough Neagh, a Woman of the Water and Catholic Saints are all showing up for me as I reconnect to my ancient ancestral and cultural identity.

Sounds like the Church is trying to graft itself onto existing Irish mythologies to gain legitimacy. Cumhal/Comghall is still stealing the wild water woman for his own purposes.

The “Pagan Water Woman who was Saved” is a great story for the Church. Gimme back my mermaid. Away with that filthy pagan Earth connection shit and bring in the baptism, shame and exclusion.

This is entirely and naturally typical of Celtic culture. Our lives are enmeshed and resonant in a field of mythical meaning. These stories are allegory as historical fact and present, current life.

The intersection of an ancient pagan mermaid turned “acceptable to the Church” human woman is my literal life right now as I decolonize my mind from Christianity and seek return to my pre-Christian Celtic roots.

Unbreakable Bonds of Love

These connections are real and unbreakable. Ancestors are connected by links made of love that go back and back and back to the beginning. I believe that these ancestral links go right back through to LUCA. This is the living truth.

Right now I feel my fathers ancestors very strongly and I think that's because my father's love for me in the spirit world is the unbreakable link that connects me back through the love of all the ancient parents and children in my ancestry.

I suspect that when my mother dies and returns to spirit, she will forge the link of love that connects me in this body, to the ancestors on her side. I don't know for sure - it's all speculation. But I think it is so.

Let's chat with your Ancestors.

Ancestor Chats

Now I meet with my ancestors every week; same time, same place. It feels the same as when I communicate with Beloved Presence. Muireann says it is the same. Love from Spirit is the same.

Celts have a very blurry line between gods and ancestors. I'm starting to see how they are probably the same thing.

I've been having trouble believing the communication that I receive from my ancestors in spirit. It's a "good enough" thing on my part and Muireann, although loving and understanding, is getting impatient with my bullshit.

Am I making it all up? How do I verify the truth? What is the proof?

Muireann responded in two ways. Veracity can be found in how the information makes us feel. Love, connection, joy and peace are the outcome of accepting truth as it is. Accepting truth without resistance, denial or defence. Truth will always result in one, all or a combination of these feeling states.

So much wisdom and knowledge is gained through direct empathetic communication with the world around us; which includes spirit. Western society rejected this path of learning as "superstition" and dismissed, despised and ridiculed empathetic knowledge for hundreds of years.

Empathetic ways of knowing cannot be controlled, gate-kept or monetized for gain by others. Empathetic learning traditions are a threat to traditional Western education and religious models - all to our detriment. This pathway of knowing is growing and will result in nothing short of a revolution on the planet.

Peace is a litmus test for truth.

Feelings of superiority, smugness, shame, anger and fear are the signal that there is more to learn, that we haven't understood or are unable at this point to understand and we do not have the final answer.

Peace is an overall litmus test to veracity. Do I feel at peace? If so... carry on. If not, there's more work to do. It's simple.

Etymology of peace = togetherness; no resistance or defence.

The second part of veracity comes from accepting that everything is a process - especially our paths of learning. It can't be otherwise. Empathetic ways of knowing are not on/off, yes/no; it is a process of uncovering and and accepting, moving through denial and resistance and coming to a place of greater knowledge and understanding. Truth can change as we learn and heal more about ourselves which impacts how we perceive the world.

Paul Goudsmit and Jane Tipping are my spiritual Elders. When I first found them on the internet they were describing the process of spiritual learning and growth as like traveling up a slinky. We feel like we keep covering the same ground, coming back to the same lessons - but each time we're on a different part of the slinky, we've moved further along from where we were before and now have a different perspective because we're standing in a new place of understanding.

It's all just process.

Muireann tells me to just believe.

We're all just making it up as we go along, so I might as well believe the best version of everything. There's no way to prove spiritual connection without a doubt.

There's no way to be outside of creation and "scientifically observe" self and verify.

The idea of objectivity as a scientific tool of truth is unscientific. Objectivity doesn't exist. It's not a real or obtainable truth. We can strive to keep our biases and assumptions at bay in scientific inquiry - but the simple act of observation alone impacts every experiment that's ever been performed.

“We are creation. We are reality. We are the world we observe and attempt to understand. This is the truth. ”

— Beloved Presence

Our doubt about our spiritual knowledge is ours to come to terms with on an individual basis.

Doubt is where we believe we are separate from wholiness.

Muireann guides me to believe in the truth of my joy and love and peace. If I need permission to believe in my wisdom path, my ancestors have given it to me, Beloved Presence has given it to me and I have accepted it for myself.

If you need permission - I'm giving it to you. Of course you are in communication with the spirit world. Of course you are receiving valuable and necessary knowledge and education directly from the Universe. This is happening for everyone, everywhere, all at the same time. It is happening to you and is totally and perfectly natural.

Our perspective of the world shapes what the world is for us. We are also participating in a global community perspective by how we perceive the world around us.

The physical world is neutral.

It is neither good nor bad - it just is and there is no judgement upon it until we put one there. Our identity in a physical body is how we express the Anam Mòr into the physical world. What we believe it means to be a physical body in the world shapes how we perceive reality - it literally changes our world.

Everything that exists is based first in the beliefs and meanings that we have chosen to accept as true and real. We have the free will to perceive and as a result create the world as we choose.

Right now we have plenty of examples of choosing separation and fear.

Where are my lovers at?

Where are my peaceful warriors?

Where are my Descendants in Wholiness?

We are called to share our visions of the world. We hold them on purpose because they are meant to be shared. By sharing them we bring them into existence.

What are the beautiful visions that fill you with joy and love and peace and hope? Share them.

Talk about them.

Let's uncover your dreams.

Live them.

Create from them.

Stand for your vision in the World.

Stand for them in the face of criticism and disbelief. We don't have to convince others of our visions - we just have to stand for them in the world.

Keep sharing your loving vision - even when no one gives a shit. Keep sharing your loving vision even when no one cares and no one watches and no one engages and no one even knows that you're sharing anything at all.

The sharing is everything. Vibrations in the universal fabric spread everywhere and touch everyone and everything… and then they return to you. The completion of that circuit makes it real.

When enough of us are sharing our love for the world with the world - we will change everything, everywhere, all at once.