23. Sacral Challenge: Guilt
** TW: I don’t specifically go into detail about sexuality/abuse - but it is implied. One of the wounds of the sacral chakra is sexual abuse and sexual interference. I caution extreme gentleness and slow pace in working with the emotional wounds in this area. Please find resources linked at the bottom of this teaching. **
Ah guilt… you motherfucker.
Guilt is useful when reflecting on our past behaviour, actions and thoughts because it helps us establish healthy boundaries and shows us where we can make changes. Guilt is an appropriate feedback guide - not a demon… but oh how we have misused guilt in the control and shaping of the human being.
Emotions are the first language of the child.
Emotions are expressed and known through the instinctual, natural expressions of our body. Jubilant, orgiastic, spontaneous expressions of aliveness. Well, shut down that triggering shit, right now.
Spontaneous expressions of joy can be very triggering to wounded, repressed, self-critical adults.
(We are all wounded in some degree.)
Any criticism, repression or suppression of the spontaneous emotional expressions of a child leads to restrict the expression of their identity in the world. It leads to the belief that the natural, authentic expression of self in the world is not to be trusted. Core wounds: unlocked.
Empathy and effective emotional mirroring are required for a child to form emotional literacy and connect their inner and outer experiences of the world into a coherent whole. Emotional literacy in childhood develops into the rich field of interconnected meaning available in a world where you and your expressions of Self are accepted as you are.
Emotions vs. Feelings
Yes, I emphasized this in the last teaching. It’s that important.
“Emotions are instinctual raw information.
Feelings are our conditioned responses to emotions and situations and ‘what we make things mean’.”
Feeling guilty about your emotions - or being delivered the very clear message that the emotions you have, or the way you express them are not acceptable, leads to those emotions being repressed, denied and buried. This is a lost part of self that gets put into the darkness.
Religious and spiritual trauma is deeply rooted in guilt.
Western religions are based in the suspicion of the body, the Land, Nature, the Self and denial of desires. Repress and deny any aspect of joyful life because it is a distraction from your reward in heaven. There is a deep religious suspicion of the natural joyful functions of being alive.
“Sin” is an oopsie and there’s no mistake you can make in the world that results in eternal damnation. Spirit doesn’t damn. Human beings judge damnation on one another. Human beings damn ourselves. WE do this. WE do this to ourselves and to one another. Spirit does not judge.
lol.
How many of the 7 deadly sins are admonishments against pleasure of the flesh? I get that anything in excess can be a problem - but the reverse becomes true too. Religion tends to restrict and repress all pleasure “just in case”. Better to live a guilty-ridden half-life than risk eternal damnation that we made up.
Don’t be too accepting or loving of yourself - that’s the sin of pride. Don’t have too much or you’re greedy. Don’t be angry at all, ever, especially if you’re a woman or you’re committing the sin of wrath. Be sweet and pleasing always. Don’t be bitter about what someone else has… okay, I accept that one. Envy is useless. Don’t eat too much and definitely don’t enjoy it. Don’t relax or enjoy your leisure time - “idle hands are the devil’s playground.” God forbid you have a moment to think for yourself and question blind allegiance to harmful belief systems.
Click images to open in lightbox to read.
This one is the absolute worst. We see lust as being strictly sexual - don’t be a whore. It’s so often only applied to women. Women who enjoy the sexy times are lustful.
Lust is actually just pleasure and desire.
Which encompasses far more than just sexuality.
Both pleasure and desire, when used as spiritual compass tools can lead us to great growth and self discovery. We desire self knowledge and self knowledge can bring much pleasure. There are all kinds of pleasures and desires, including sexual, which are healthy, needed and an integral part of the sweetness of being alive.
Western society is steeped in Christian belief and ideology. Religious education so often represses the sacral chakra of pleasure and enjoyment - just in case you should ever be excessively excited about being alive.
“Stop being excited about living in the world. Your purpose is to sacrifice the enjoyment of your life now, to focus on your ‘reward’ in the afterlife. ”
Religious indoctrination and control wants you to sacrifice the experiences of your life here in favour of a supposed reward in the afterlife and are keen to kibosh pleasure and desire and to guilt you for becoming excited about being a human being alive on the planet. SINNER! lol.
The teaching of the Christian world view in western society is long-lived and immersive. Our ancestors have absorbed these teachings for generations.
You don’t have to be religious to have your mind and beliefs colonized by Christianity.
The sacral growth is a time of establishing independent identity.
Most religious organizations act as surrogate parental authorities and are structured to prevent you from entering into soul sovereignty and maturity as an individual. Denying your right to access the fullness of your pleasure and your desires is a sabotage to your Spirit-directed navigation system.
Religious trauma is a major way of wounding the sacral center of pleasure and desire - but any restriction of spontaneous expression of emotion will do it. Judgement, criticism, repression, restriction of natural self expression in any aspect will create a guard at the door to restrict joy.
A guard at the door of this level suppresses the total flow of energy in the entire system.
Access to the fullness of our feelings and sensations help filter incoming energy information and determine our own level of healthy boundaries. Guilt destroys that layer of emotional intelligence. We deny, repress and disconnect from our feelings which affect the healthy, natural boundaries of ourselves and our interactions with others. Needs are necessities. They can be denied and they can be overindulged, but needs and desires never stop communicating the need for fulfillment.
Needs and Desires are real and must be fulfilled.
Unfulfilled needs and desires can become compulsive when not fulfilled. Compulsive activities are driven by guilt robbing us of our enjoyment the first time so we are forced to return and repeat the behaviour in the hopes of being nourished. This can be a source for addiction. Food, sex, exercise, leisure activities… can all become compulsive if we deny our ability to enjoy the pleasures by attaching guilty feelings to them.
Guilt is the prison guard of the Shadow.
The rise of guilt is often an indicator that the Shadow is at work. Perfection is required to keep us safe from the Shadow, and since perfection is impossible, we let the Shadow loose and then fail at the simple task of keeping ourselves safe. More guilt.
Perfectionism requires black and white, either/or thinking which develops rigidity and stagnation in the flow of duality. Feelings and emotions are ambiguous and nuanced. Embracing our feelings requires allowing ambiguity and grey areas.
The practices in this teaching will help to gently loosen or contain our hold on expression of self, and begin to thaw the frozen door of guilt blocking our flow of joy and delight.
SA Support Resources:
https://www.salalsvsc.ca/indigenous-support-programs/
https://www.reescommunity.com/resources/
https://www.sadvtreatmentcentres.ca/
https://www.sadvtreatmentcentres.ca/other-services.html
https://endingviolencecanada.org/sexual-assault-centres-crisis-lines-and-support-services/
https://littlewarriors.ca/about/information-resources/regional-resources/ontario-resources/
The Practice
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When you’re stuck in either/or thinking, what do you feel guilty about?
reflect and record when it happens.
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Build. Contain. Release.
Balancing duality in the sacral requires nuance and a keen sensitivity to our bodies messages.
Spend some time with your body and identity whether your energy is balanced, stagnate, highly charged or sparse.
reflect and record your experiences
how are you able to identify your energy states?
Let's assume that your body needs to practice building and containing energy or building and releasing energy
please be gentle, slow and patient with yourself and listen to the responses of your body and Spirit.
This is not a time of tough love or pushing through or 'no pain/no gain'.
Building and dishcharging your energy can be new and scary for your body and spirit. It can bring to the surface memories and feelings that have been buried for years.
Find a safety anchor for this process. What action/thing/process/whatever makes you feel grounded, safe and secure?
Find that thing that anchors you back into the safety of the here and now.
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Video will open in a lightbox.
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Where possible, when you have guilty feelings, take the time to reflect. Put the guilt into context.
Where did you learn that behaviour of guilt?
how was it modelled?
what was the payoff?
how can you make amends?
how can you do things differently than the way you were taught?
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Move + Feel:
Where does guilt sit in your body? Where do you feel it most?
what do those feelings say?
how do they want you to move?
Specifically pay attention to hips and shoulders/arms.
supple fluid movements in the joint areas will stiffen up through repression and denial.
hips and shoulders are mirrors of one another - hips are unconscious expression of needs
shoulders and arms are conscious action on purpose - reaching, pushing away etc. The arms can show us needs that we are unaware of.
other emotions can triggered by this process. Guilt may be the wrapper that is keeping other emotions locked up.
be gentle and allow emotions to express through body movement.
There are many ways to allow emotions to express through our bodies:
gardening
dance
writing/poetr
art
exercise
cooking, baking to name a small few
be conscious of addictive cycles or habitual avoidance activities
feel the movement of energy through - not a denial or suppression of feeling
gentle - no harm to self or others
channel emotion into appropriate activity
be conscious - express not deny or avoid
Contain:
lethargy, low-energy, depletion may require containment and building
inability to sit with any negative emotion
require immediate distraction calls for containment
do you feel uncomfortable? Can you sit with the discomfort?
where is it in your body?
what is your instinctive/habitual response?
To begin you just need to identify and be conscious - there is no need to “do” anything
hold yourself in care and support
breath into the discomfort
where is in your body?
do you feel like your body needs to do anything? movement? stretch? reach? push away?
contain, hold self, curl up? or expand, reach out, stretch?
do whatever you feel guided by your body to do
If at any point you feel overwhelmed, return to your anchor space and be present. We are not trying to re-traumatize ourselves in memories of the past. We are safe and secure right here, right now.
Take some water, make a hot drink, do some body activities that are soothing and care-taking to you.
Please take extra care and give extra attention to your body when you are feeling overwhelmed.
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After each body session, reflect on the emotions, thoughts, memories and ideas this process brought to the surface.
reflect on how these are showing up in your life.
continue being gentle with yourself and your body as you reflect on what's coming up for you.