For a long time I wanted to be known as nice. I have no idea why now, it’s such a waste of time.

I think there’s some heavy gender expectation stuff in there. Women are expected to be nice, gentle, pleasing, accommodating, pliant and agreeable. We’re not supposed to cause problems or take up space or be seen or heard.

Traditionally our role has been one of service and subservience. We are the helpmeet and the assistant.

We are trained from birth to consider how we impact those around us (primarily men & children). We are taught to focus on those outside us and address their needs and help men meet their goals.

In our partnerships women continue to carry the bulk of the household chores, childcare and the emotional labour for the family. Women are still labeled as “nagging” when we call out men on the unfair division of labour and expect them to carry their fair share.

Society says that women *should* have their needs met, but suggests spa days and yoga instead of higher wages, free daycare or any kind of institutional change that prioritizes women and family over profit and productivity.

If we prioritized families we wouldn’t support a system that forces both parents to work while allowing those at the top to avoid contributing by paying zero taxes into public coffers.

I’m done with nice.

Fuck nice.

“If you need people to speak to you nicely, then you are a child and you need to grow up.”

~a Tiktok that is now unavailable

 The predatory class want us to be nice.

Stupid and compliant and accepting of whatever bullshit immoral and inequitable treatment they want to hand down to us.

More work and more responsibility and less pay?

Less sick time? Lost pensions? Higher prices? Stagnant wages?

Be nice and smile and take it and be grateful while the politicians and the corporations steal every last penny to finance their own interests.

They “extract value” from our labour and enjoy all the profit.

Capital would make us slaves again, if we let them. “Nice” smiles and stays stupid and doesn’t want to rock the boat or be a bother.

“Nice” says it can always be worse.

From now on, I’m going to be kind.

Kind is so far from nice - they’re not even in the same ballpark. Kind is from ‘kin’ and is originally meaning natural or native, innate and “with the feeling of relatives for each other.”

Basically, being kind is recognizing that we are equals.

We are treating others as we would part of our family; which when you get right down to it, is the truth of our experience on earth.

We are all kin here, from single cel organism to plant, animal, fellow human beings and ancient mountain ranges - we are all kin on the Earth.

We first learn about life amongst family. We learn how to establish boundaries and advocate for ourselves in our family. We learn about power and how to counter power in our families. None of us though, would let our siblings take advantage of us the way the predator class has done for hundreds of years...

Where I Belabour a Family Analogy

Imagine I agreed to work a weekend garage sale at my brothers house.

I would expect to be compensated for that time (this is a work analogy - not a favour for my brother).

Imagine I did all the work of setting up and pricing and lifting and moving and then selling all those items all day in the sun to random people that showed up. Imagine then I had to take it all down at the end of the day and put it all away, and then repeat the whole process the next day - while my brother did nothing.

He emailed me detailed and annoying instructions on how he wants the garage sale handled, while he spends the weekend at the cottage with his family.

Imagine the garage sale earned $20 000 for the weekend and my brother paid me $20.

Obviously, my brother is a colossal jerk. When I tell him it’s not fair and it’s not enough, he shrugs. He says he doesn’t care because anyone could do the job I did and many people would be willing to do it, some of them for even less than $20.

He owns the land and the house and the driveway and the garage and all the stuff in the garage and has enough money to wait me out because my rent is due now, I need money to buy food now.

My brother doesn’t care that my hard work and my “soft” ability to communicate and create connection, was a big part of creating the $20k for him. He sees me only as one easily replaceable cog in a machine.

In fact, when he can replace me with a machine, he will, because then he will even get to keep the $20 he paid to me.

Capitalism was built on slavery and it’s supporters generally don’t appear to care how difficult it becomes for workers as long as their own share increases.

The driveway and the garage are starting to fall apart and the customers have stopped coming. My brother refuses to pay to fix them and says that if I want to keep getting my $20, I should fix the driveway and garage myself.

I break my leg when one of the tables falls over on me in a high wind. My brother refuses to pay for my time off but does agree to pay for half of the cost of my cast, but the painkillers are my own problem.

My brother sends his children to an expensive private school that hires the best teachers and gets the best resources. My kids are schooled at home with whatever I can scrape together on my $20 a day.

The rest of my kin find out how I’m being treated and they are pissed. Together we drive to our brothers’ home and demand equal treatment. All my kin are there and we want the same thing - to be equitably compensated for the value we create for my brother’s business and for his business to contribute equitably to the community.

My brother tries to get our cousin to work my job, he even offers him $22 a day. He refuses.

Eventually my brother capitulates and agrees to our demands - higher wages, a guarantee of work safety and that as his business becomes more productive and profitable, we will also participate in the financial success.

We will be compensated for the value we produce and my brother will HAVE to pay back into the community by supporting infrastructure, health and education.

My brother doesn’t like this. He doesn’t WANT to agree, but he has no choice because when no one works, he earns nothing.

I won’t be nice anymore. I won’t remain stupid about how things work.

From now on, let’s be kind. We can treat each other as equals and demand equitable, fair treatment for value created. You wouldn’t screw over your family, don’t screw over your employees.

Gather with your worker kin and work together to change how things are set up. This is a nightmare of inequality and it won’t change until we understand the power we have as a collective.

Antoine Dangerfield was fired for publishing this video. Then the people started a GoFundMe for him and now he’s good.

We work TOGETHER fam.

Some of the comments on the videos are so disappointing. People are making a distinction between black, brown and white people and sticking with their own OVER another group when the biggest inequity comes from CLASS.

Of course race is a big element and class oppression overwhelmingly affects black and brown people, women and single mothers.

If we can band together across racial and gender lines to equalize the market - we would ALL be better off.

Kindness recognizes another as equal.

Kindness demands respect for boundaries. Kindness demands equality and compensation for value. Kindness is a warm feeling of kinship and generosity and bonded togetherness.

Kindness isn’t agreeable or subservient. Kindness has nothing to do with being nice.

I’m done with being nice. Nice is bullshit.

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